~ haiz ~

hello...
long time din blog d...
wana voice up inside my heart de words...!

i really so lost now....
BRO... i know u are the only one who will read my blog everytime...
i really cant let go at all..
altho my mouth said LET IT BE...
but i dono y...
everytime also cant do it...

i so damm suffer...
why the fuck she don just give wat ever i need...
so i will be more release...!

i really had a hard time here...
i everyday try my beest to work OT until tired...
don wan2 sleep and work only...
make myself tired then no time for me to think so much....!

i dono y i so unmature at all now...
i cant believe i ERIC LUA CHUN CHIN became like this ot rational at all...!
who can help me come out from the fuck damm asshole circle..!!!?!??!!?

i don wan to stay any longer in the circle...!
i wan2 come out from the fucktup circle...!
cant she understand how suffer i am....???

ya i dono wat she thinking....is cuz she din even wana tell me and share with me...!
everytime ask also the same answer...!!
wat she trying to avoid!?!?
she also make a fucking big decision without a rational thinking and withoout any reason for me....!
so wat the fuck now!?!?!

cant just we settle it by a cooling heart and open heart...!?!?
u think that this way we stiilll continue frenz???
this is making this relationship more worst...!
mayb this will cause frenz also cant continue...!
i just hope u open ur damm mouth and heart to share...!
izit that so hard for u!?!?!

i honestly tell u...
i damm fucking suffering everyday of my life!!!
this 50 days...
i live without any colour in my life...
there is no laughter in my life...
there is no warm in my life....i feeling so cold...!
eveynitez i wish to have u to give me a warm hug...!

in past off days...
i really dono wan2 use wat kind of heart to treat u...
and i dono ur DEAR... MISS U MISS U....
all this izit from ur heart....!!!
i really suspecting...!
cuz after u recover...all this is just a dream...!
and just a wind blow away only...

i am sorry to say so...!
cuz this is the feeeling u gave me!!
u din even really use the heart to tell me wat u are thinking and wat u wan..!

as i told u...!
i really don mind watever shit happened last time...
i just wan2 hear from ur heart...!
i told u be4...
everytime no matter how i angry how i bosong how i fa pi qi...
i also will came out to acc u...no matter how tired and how busy i am...
i just wish that the time u need me i be there for u...
but u also don be so selfish...
i just wan ur words from ur heart only ma...
izit that very hard for u???

i 100% know that sure got something that u don wish to say out until now...
u fear of something happen...
u know if u tell out all ...then will something worst happening...

but i can tell u....the more day u delay...
the more horrible thing will happen...!
u have to cool down and take some quiet time for urself and think it...!
not thinking about negative shit and avoiding something..!

rational thinking..!

i hope to get ur reply soon...!
i don wan to delay anymore..!

Bro i know u will going to read this...
i hope u can understand my feeling and help me...!
i fucking tired now...!

smile...haha...she think that my smile alway hanging on my face?!?!
i also lost my smile my laughter my happiness...!
who can help me!?!?!?

haiz...i really don wan continue write it....
i know if i continue it i will scold ppl....!

thanzk bro for the helping hand...
save me lord..!